Google My Name

Jane Miller

This is crazy. Insomnia drives me to do some weird things at 2:00 in the morning.

Shop. Great sale at the Gap. Don’t have my Gap card with me. Took about a half hour to access (remember log-in, find password, the whole thing) and by that time I was irritated enough not to buy anything from this stupid site anyway.

Google my name. Really google it, as in “jane miller google.” There are a TON of Jane Millers out there. About 24,900,000 hits. In .43 seconds. I made it to page 6 and still hadn’t found the “right” Jane Miller. We’re an eclectic group, we Jane Millers. I would not have expected such with a plain-Jane name like ours.

First hit was for Jane Miller, recent graduate from University of Melbourne. She wrote four articles about libraries and information management. I like libraries and managing information. I wonder if it goes with the name.

Then there’s the Jane Miller who went to UMass-Amhurst. Wow, did she write a lot. Seems to focus on gender, various kinds of equalities, workplace issues. Well, good for her! These are important issues to discuss, no matter which side (and there are many) one happens to fall on.   

Ahh. Now we’re talking. The third Jane Miller wrote a children’s book, The Farm Alphabet Book. She also wrote a book about ADD and overcoming challenges. Sounds like my classrooms over the years. While my attention span resembles a squirrel’s, I am not ADD. I just loved teaching these kids. Some of my favorite students over the years were the inevitably bright, funny, creative ADD kids.

Ok … one Jane wrote about statistics. Skipping this one.

Here’s a Jane who wrote a book called Working Time: Essays on Poetry, Culture, and Travel. No reviews. Wonder if that’s because no one read it. Kind of like my blogs —echoes across a very empty canyon.

Look! A Jane Miller who’s a teacher. Second grade. Bless her heart!

Hey Tracy! There’s a “Tracy Jane Miller.” We’re one person!

And there’s a “Kathy Jane Miller.” My older sister’s name is Kathy, but she hates me so this is as close as we’ve been since our father’s funeral almost a year ago. She doesn’t call me.

Here’s a Jane Miller I might have liked. She wrote a book, Crazy Age: Thoughts on Being Old. The review says this Jane was funny, erudite, and insightful. She was a teacher, Russian translator, and lover of literature. Well, I have the first and third; and I’ve read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich. Maybe that will count for something.

The review also says this Jane “muses excellently.” While I’m glad the critic feels this way, she also says that Jane writes about the loss of “a pulsating sex life” that comes with age. I’m here to tell ya that’s just not true. 🙂

Decided to check out the “images” … To no avail. What’s up with that?

A lot of Jane Millers were (or are) writers of everything. Children’s books. Books on growing old. On gardening (this is beyond me, except I think I could pen a memoir about the time Laura and I had a garden and a pretend HGTV show called “Gardening on a Limited IQ.” I think we’d offend too many people, though.)

There are a lot of dead Janes. Inevitable, I suppose. I wonder how I will be remembered. That’s important to me. I taught for 17 wonderful years – middle school through college. From teaching students with language and learning disabilities or developmental disabilities, to the small coast high school where I taught just about everything English or social studies, to the high school I graduated from where I taught mainstream and talented and gifted students, to sophomore English to Advanced Placement-US Government, and finally to a college course on grammar and pedagogy.

I worked in educational assessment for a different 17 years, from being content specialist (then project manager), to the Director of Assessment for the state of Missouri, to the executive director for assessment design of a major educational test publishing company. Those three jobs were fantastic!

I loved it all. I hope that showed. How much I loved what I was doing, the students I worked with, and the colleagues I still call my friends. So many achievements — big and small, all unique, all wonderful.

There’s one company, as there was one school district, that drove me from each part of my career. The first was a despotic boss and a flare of fibromyalgia. The second a despotic boss, insane corporate culture, and Parkinson’s.

My life has been full of joy and challenges. A lot of challenges lately, but also more joy. Erik. Jared and Matt. KC and Sabitri. My brother Scott. I’d include my two sisters but they don’t like me. My sailing friends. Racing family. My GPhiB sisters. So much love.

I had a steroid shot in my left eye on Friday, the pain and Xanax made for an interesting afternoon, but with Erik, Matt and Jared, I made it through once again. None of that is in my Google search, but Google doesn’t matter. Real life, real people, and real love.

That’s what we carry with us. That’s what lasts.

 

2 thoughts on “Google My Name”

  1. An injection in your eye–can’t begin to imagine how awfully painful that is, Jane! Thank goodness you have the support of the people who count in your life. As for your insomnia shopping, my friend Brenda and you would have a lot of chuckles about your shared experience–her purchases have been quite entertaining!

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